Individual Therapy

Let me start by saying this: a lot of my individual therapy clients come to me because they know I also specialize in couples therapy.

Which makes sense, since at the heart of it, individual counseling is still about relationships – your relationship with others (romantic or not), and with yourself.

Maybe you long for an intimate romantic relationship, but find yourself running into the same problems over and over.

Maybe you have dreams for your career, but something is holding you back from success.

Or maybe you just feel like there’s more to life, and you want to wholeheartedly embrace it.

I truly believe that investing in individual therapy is one of the bravest, boldest choices you can make in your life.

By embracing the vulnerability and self-reflection that comes with individual work, you’re taking the reigns and creating the life – the relationships – you desire.

And to me, that is one badass move.

What Sets Individual Therapy Apart

The beauty of individual therapy is that – unlike in couples therapy – we’re not dividing the time between your problems, your partners’ problems, and the relationship’s problems.

Instead, we get to focus on one person and one person only: you.

The first thing you’ll find with my individual therapy approach is… there’s a plan.

A method to the madness.

It doesn’t just amount to some “life coaching”, or to the kind of breakthroughs you can get from a self-help book and a bottle of wine.

I intentionally work with my individual therapy clients on 3 main pillars:

1. Conflict resolution with integrity

2. Self-esteem and resilience

3. Meaningful relationships

At the start of our work together, my goal is to help you (and me!) get a clearer picture of what’s led to your current situation – not just the immediate logistics, but the deeper emotions and patterns that have combined to create your present reality.

That way, when we begin the work of shifting patterns and creating new ones, we’re not just shooting in the dark, we’re working from a deep understanding of your unique circumstances, and using research-backed tools to help you shape a different future.

Now let’s look at each of those 3 pillars in a little more detail…

Conflict Resolution With Integrity

So many of us grow up with the understanding that conflict of any kind is bad with a capital B.

And when it comes to romantic relationships, we’re taught that if you just find your “soulmate” you won’t have to worry about conflict ever again!

This can make it feel like every argument you DO (inevitably) have is a mark against your relationship – proof you’re doing something wrong, or you’re with the wrong person.

But I’m going to let you in on a secret: conflict itself isn’t inherently bad or harmful.

In fact, it’s one of the biggest – and under-utilized – opportunities for growth, both as an individual and as a couple if you’re in a romantic relationship.

If you tend to avoid tough conversations, hear me loud and clear: you are not protecting your intimate relationships by doing this.

Instead, you’re putting them – and your own sense of self – at risk.

I know it seems easier to avoid the hard discussions than to bring them up and risk having your biggest fears confirmed.

But, if you can’t express the stuff weighing on your mind, how can you expect your partner (or your friend, or your parent) to do the same?

While I could go on and on about how unresolved conflict ultimately leads to a lack of intimacy in a relationship… to me, the best reason to speak your truth in your relationship is that it’s the only way you can live with integrity.

In our individual therapy sessions, I’ll help you learn the skills to navigate conflict in a way that’s respectful to the other person, while still allowing you to remain in integrity with yourself.

This can look like learning:

• Techniques for expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly, even in challenging conversations

• Strategies for active listening that allow you to understand the other person's viewpoint without compromising your own

• The art of anticipating potential disagreements and preparing emotionally for robust discussions

• Shifting your focus from what the other person should do to what you can do to facilitate productive dialogue

• Embracing vulnerability and maintaining open communication, even when faced with disappointment or disillusionment.

• Overcoming the fear of being honest, and understanding that genuine communication can actually strengthen relationships

Now, I’ll be the first to admit, this process can be uncomfortable.

Our instinct is always to immediately resolve any tension, but being able to sit in that discomfort – to tolerate tension without collapsing – is what ultimately allows for greater, deeper connections.

As you practice these skills with those around you, you’ll build “emotional muscle”, and learn that you can speak up without your relationship crumbling.

That you can speak up without YOU crumbling.

Ultimately, my goal for you (the conflict-avoider)... is to inspire you to be more honest with yourself.

Being true to yourself generates real self-esteem.

Being true to your partner makes you indispensable to each other.

My desire is that through our work together, you’ll feel confident that you can not only address and survive conflict, you – and your relationships – can grow stronger from it.

Self-Esteem and Resilience

Know Your Worth

Speaking of self-esteem…at the end of the day, it’s hard to create the life you want if you feel crappy about yourself.

Believing your only value comes from what you’re able to contribute or produce is a recipe for dissatisfied living.

Allow me to tell you this: you have inherent worth as a human being.

Your self-esteem doesn’t have to be based on how busy you are, or on how well you fit someone else’s image of who you should be.

Working with me, you’ll be able to let go of self-doubt and fear, and instead lean into trusting your intuition.

You’ll learn to seek validation and approval from yourself first and foremost, rather than from other people.

Haters gonna hate, my friend. But YOU choose who’s worth listening to.

Now, beyond helping you recognize and embrace your own inherent worth, working with me means we’ll also focus on a few other key areas of building competence and self-esteem.

This means taking care of yourself in meaningful ways by learning to:

• Slow down and rest with intention

• Honor your body

• Set healthy boundaries

• Say YES to things that bring you joy

In today’s world, practicing true self-love can feel like a radical approach to life. But that’s what this is all about, right? If you were happy with the status quo, you wouldn’t be reading this page.

Feel Empowered to Take on New Challenges

Beyond helping you solve specific problems, the broader goal of individual therapy is for you to gain resilience and emotional agility.

The truth is, life’s never going to be perfect.

And societally, we’re taught to avoid all unpleasant emotions and to simply power through with a positive attitude.

But a positive attitude isn’t the answer.

Susan David, a leading authority on the effects of “toxic positivity,” suggests that when people tell you to “just stay positive,” what they’re really saying is their comfort is more important than your reality.

Individual therapy helps you learn to tolerate discomfort – and I’m here to sit in that discomfort with you.

So often, clients I see are afraid that if they acknowledge the shit they’re going through – if they sit with their difficult emotions – they’ll fall apart. This cycle leads to more fear, and to feeling like you can’t trust yourself to get through hard times.

Through our work together, you’ll see that you ARE able to tolerate difficult emotions, and you’ll uncover your inner strength and confidence. You’ll learn to trust yourself the next time you’re faced with a situation that triggers those emotions in you – you’ll know you can handle it.

Learning to accept and tolerate emotions like fear, anger, and sadness can lessen the pain of those emotions, and lets you move forward from a place of emotional strength and agility.

Sometimes, the best therapy is to share your story and to have someone hear you and validate that the situation you’re in is shitty. Really, really shitty.

Receiving the validation no one else in your life has been able to give you is often the very thing that sparks your ability to move forward.

Cultivate Meaningful Relationships

Now, *spoiler alert*: the goal of personal growth isn’t to help you live life alone.

It’s meant to give you the tools to create healthy, generative, lasting relationships – ones where everyone involved gets to be fully themselves.

This third pillar is where we really dive into things like:

• The kind of life you want to build with your partner

• The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you desire

• Your individual blocks to becoming the kind of partner you aspire to be

• The skills and knowledge necessary to create new, intimacy-building patterns in your relationship

And as much as relationships may feel like a complete shot in the dark, the good news is, there are actually evidence-based models that give us incredible insight into preventing relational breakdowns and fostering deep intimacy.

In working with me, you’ll get research-based relationship-building tools from my training in both the Gottman Method and the Developmental Model (as well as several others, but I’ll leave those for my about page).

Working with me, I’ll help you identify which patterns and loops you’re repeating, so that you can stop being stuck and instead move toward relational synergy.

After all, meaningful relationships are where all the pieces come together, where the work you’ve done in YOURSELF comes full circle and becomes the connection you enjoy with OTHERS.

It’d be my absolute honor to help you experience that.

Let’s Do the Damn Thing.

*Disclaimer*

To be clear, working towards a better life is not always a walk in the park.

It takes: 

• Openness in therapy, even when it’s hard or awkward

• Dedication to your own growth

• Motivation to stick it out even if you’re not seeing the immediate progress you want (this isn’t a one-and-done thing after all)

• Courage to face your limiting beliefs head-on

As your therapist, I’m committed to bringing my absolute A-game, and I ask that you do the same.

As far as timeline, individual therapy can last for as long (or as short) as you need – there’s no deadline for when you have to be done self-improving. 

Many of my individual therapy clients start with weekly appointments, then continue to come in for yearly or twice-yearly check-ins. 

In fact, one of the greatest compliments I get from my individual clients is having them return for continued work as their life changes and evolves. 

When you're ready to transform your life, I'm here.

Just shoot me a message to get started.

PS. Question about fees, insurance, or scheduling? You can find the answer on my FAQ page.

If that doesn’t answer your question, feel free to reach out!