“Healing can only take place in relationship.” -Harville Hendrix
Ask yourself these questions:
Are you struggling to connect and understand your partner?
Do you and your partner argue with one another about the same issues over and over again?
Has your world been turned upside down because of an affair?
Are you and your partner living separate lives?
Do you desire a more fulfilling and conscious relationship with your loved one?
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, you are not alone. Relationships can be difficult to navigate, especially when don't have the tools to cope. Couples therapy invites partners to explore areas of disconnection and how to consciously love and commit to one another. Couples therapy can help with such issues as communication, marital conflicts, different parenting styles, intimacy, blended families, step-parenting, coping with extended family members, anxiety and/or depression, anger and infidelity. I can provide support to help you improve communication skills, discuss concerns, solve problems, discuss your thoughts and feelings, gain a better understanding of your relationship, resolve conflicts, make changes, develop skills to maintain a healthy relationship with cooperation and mutual trust.
Couples therapy is challenging. It takes risk. It takes openness. It takes looking at uncomfortable and ineffective parts of ourselves. Couples therapy works best when two people create targeted growth goals and they hold themselves individually accountable for reaching those goals. Before you decide to embark on this journey, ensure you are both committed to doing your respective parts rather than expecting the other to do all the changing.
Science-based Couples Therapy: The Gottman Method Couples Therapy
The primary therapeutic model I use when working with couples is The Gottman Method Couples Therapy. This couples therapy model is a groundbreaking, scientific approach helping couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection, and intimacy in their relationships. I have found this method to be particularly beneficial to couples as it provides science-based interventions and exercises to help couples find new ways of connecting, managing conflict, and creating new meaning. Couples I have worked with have seen tremendous results in their relationships using the specific tools they have learned in couples therapy. The research is based on Dr. Gottman’s study of more than 3,000 couples and shows what actually works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship. As a Certified Gottman Therapist, I have extensive training in this method and have completed all clinical trainings.
An affair can completely shatter a couples world, turning it upside down, leaving both partners not knowing where to go next. Couples therapy can provide a safe space to work through the hurt and betrayal while rebuilding trust and commitment. I had the privilege of training with the founders of The Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, completing their Treating Affairs and Trauma: Helping Couples Heal and Rebuild Trust advanced training in 2016.
The Gottman Relationship Checkup
A state-of-the-art, scientific assessment tool I give all couples I work with is the Gottman Relationship Checkup. Developed from over 40 years of research with thousands of couples, this relationship questionnaire relies on intensive, detailed, and evidence-based information on why relationships succeed or fail. It allows us to learn the strengths and challenges of your specific relationship and to determine a treatment plan tailored to your needs. The questionnaire is composed of 480 questions about friendship, intimacy, emotions, conflict, values, and trust, as well as parenting, housework, finances, individual areas of concern, and more. You and your partner will complete the online questionnaires separately and privately. Your answers are completely confidential and you will not have access to each other's questionnaires. This privacy allows you to be open and honest which will result in a more accurate treatment assessment and plan. Upon completing the questionnaires, we will come together, I will provide you my clinical assessment and feedback, and discuss a suggested plan for improving your relationship. This is a remarkable tool that will save you time and money because we will be able to pinpoint the specific areas we need to work on in therapy.
AANE Certified Neurodiverse Couples Therapist
After working with several Neurodiverse Couples in my clinical practice and discovering the unique challenges and strengths of these couples, I wanted to learn how to better serve them. Traditional couples therapy is often ineffective for Neurodiverse Couples as it does not view the couple through a neurological lens. Often, Neurodiverse Couples become frustrated with traditional couples therapy and end therapy prematurely not getting the help they had hoped for.
In February 2020, I completed a clinical training through the Aspergers/Autism Network (AANE), "Fundamentals of Working with Neurodiverse Couples in Therapy." This one-of-a-kind clinical training course focused on how to recognize, understand, and effectively treat neurodiverse couples in therapy. I went on to complete the certification training, "Advanced Topics in Neurodiverse Couples in Therapy," in April 2020.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
I have also received training by the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Dr. Sue Johnson. EFT is based on the science of adult attachment and bonding. EFT can help partners better understand both their own emotional responses and those of their partner. The goal of EFT is to help couples move into the open close embrace that is a secure loving bond.
If you and your partner are ready to embark on the journey of Couples Therapy, please read this helpful article, How To Get The Most From Your Couples Therapy, to prepare for our work together.
On the brink of divorce?
Couples Therapy is not the best service for you.
Click here to learn how I can help you and your marriage.